Humility in the Webster dictionary shares “ low view of one’s own importance; One of the biggest secrets about God’s kingdom is that the kingdom of God is not something that you can point to and say, “Here it is” , or “There it is” for it is a kingdom! It is found in our hearts and wherever His will is done. God rules in human hearts. The kingdom is manifested through the church of Christ not a building it is us, God’s children. Our hearts and relationship with God. Remember, the disciples talking to Jesus about the Kingdom? They wanted so much to be a part of that Kingdom and have an Important part of His kingdom. After all they gave up much to follow Jesus. You find it in Matthew 18:1-4 “ At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Many years ago when I encountered the Lord and gave Jesus my heart I signed up for Discipleship classes and learned to hear God Voice and went through the book as a church on prayers that heal the heart through Communion with God Ministries. I was radically changed and over the years the lord used me and I had intimate times with him. I learned to journal and spend intimate times with him. As I grew in Christ, he gave me a ministry where I would teach children everything I learned. I became the Children’s Pastor than the family Pastor and soon got very busy and forgot to ask my father about His plans. I got caught up in ministry. Oh yes, I would still spend time with the Lord. But I would not listen or even ask him questions. I got very busy and doubt started to creep in. I was a single mother raising my daughter and would share everything God taught me with her. I became the Children’s Pastor in church and I know it was God’s will but I became so entangled in being busy. I would never ask My father is this what He wants. I would go ahead him and say yes to all Hearing God’s voice conferences for children and yes to preaching and teachings. I mediated on the scriptures and the Holy Spirit would show up at times. But fear and doubt would creep in and I wouldn’t journal anything because I didn’t think it was God. I forgot to pray and seek him about everything. I would still hear his voice but I had so much doubt and fear it was not Him. I remember receiving a word about Missions after my daughter was grown and gone. I wanted to go to Youth With A Mission years ago. When I first got saved in that same Discipleship we learned about missions and I read Lauren Cunningham’s book “is that really you God and wanted to go on the missions field. I wanted to quit my job and go My daughter was 3 years old at the time. But back then I knew I needed to pray and seek the Lord and see what the Lord thinks about this. I heard him clearly tell me no I want you to pour into your daughter” I even received confirmation that it is not His timing. I put it on the back burner until a year ago. A burning was coming into my heart for missions but when I prayed I heard the Holy Spirit say take out your 401K and apply to YWAM. Well that’s not God I said to myself and I let it go. I would listen to sermons that was speaking clearly to me and without telling anyone. My pastor is very prophetic and she said to me. I believe God is calling you for a season for Missions. Wow, I knew it was God so I start praying and asking Him for confirmation but had such fear about pulling out my 401K. I would tell him, That is crazy Lord. I never shared about my 401 with anyone and every sermon was about Matthew 6:26-34 “ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 7 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
I finally surrendered at the alter one day and the peace of God came upon me. When I got to YWAM I was so happy. The first week we had Dr. Mark Virkler and my attitude changed. “Lord I knew this wasn’t you. I wanted to quit I was upset. But I remembered how the lord led me here and learned to humble myself and surrender once again. Although I argued with Him. I did surrender and said Why Lord. I heard him clearly through my first session in journeling “I am bringing you back to basics. You have lost your first love.” I grew so much those three months and other speakers came in that our church did there trainings. But I was humble. I knew God had a plan and a purpose for me and wanted me to put him first in everything I do. Today, I pray about everything. I love to have those intimate times with the Lord. And I thank Jesus for keeping us in His perfect will. My heart was to do his will and He knew that. Although I got off the path a bit he brought me back to basics which we all need from time to time.